So I am stuck in a life rut and need some direction and clarity. I've been wanting to do this for a while now and have finally decided that now is the time to commit. Since I have a young child and two part time jobs and a husband with a funky work schedule, the best time to dedicate to this journey is at night before bed. Which is usually when my freest thoughts tend to flow, which should be beneficial to this journey.
I have decided to read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. For those unfamiliar, it is a spiritual journey of sorts to hopefully enlighten me to discovery of my puprose on Earth. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? I will explore these ideas through the book, and this blog will be my journal to answer the given questions and ponder things as they come up throughout the journey. So here goes... I am about to start reading chapter one.
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Point to ponder: It's not about me.
Verse to Remember: "Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him." Colossians 1:16b
Question to consider: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?
Interesting read from the get-go. It's not about me. My purpose is not my choice, it was God's choice. He knew why he needed me here on Earth, and HE alone can determine my purpose. I can choose my career, spouse, activities, hobbies, etc., but my purpose is predetermined... God has a plan and a purpose for me regardless of what I choose. I need to be open and listen to what He wants me to do.
But how do I do that? How can I be open to hearing His voice in my life when I am surrounded by all things unrelated to Him? One way that I can be open to listening to him is by having "tech free" time each day. The times where I can be alone and ponder my thoughts in silence. No radio. No people. No TV. No distractions. Just me and God. I know I need to pray more. It is something that I have been wanting to do more often and I know that will help me too. I just don't know how to build a better relationship with God, but I want to learn. I am eager to learn. I know that when my life is aligned and good with God, everything else falls into place. So why do I stray away from Him and let go of what little I had of Him in me? I see the errors of my ways and wish to correct them, why do I continue? Perhaps it is because it is easier. It is easier to get into a lazy pattern and just let things go by thinking nothing will ever change. Only I can take control of how I do things. Only I can let God into my heart and listen for His voice. Only I can build that relationship. Relationships take time. Sure it can be awkward at first, but then it'll get better and easier over time. Soon I could have the relationship I want/need from Him.
I need to remind myself each day to live for God and not myself. I need to see him in the smaller things in life and realize that he is all around me all the time.
And to think that in order to find my purpose I thought I would have to look inside myself. Instantly that idea is shot down....and for good reason too. That is why it hasn't been clear before. Because I kept thinking the same way and got the same results. So now I must give myself and my heart to God and fully embrace what he has in store for me. To trust in Him and know and love Him.
I am looking forward to the journey. Looks like it might be tougher than I originally thought. We'll see how this goes.....
